Wednesday, June 27, 2012

typical

Hot day, no A/C, pavement shimmering in the heat, and I'm driving to Walmart to buy earthworms and nail polish remover (you know - the usual). The car in front of me has the standard assortment of liberal bullshit bumperstickers. Bob Marley and a tricolor pot leaf, the blue and yellow equal sign, Hopenchange, coexist...the works. Then I noticed one I'd never seen before. In bold black and white typography, it instructed me to:

"RIDE A BIKE."

Monday, June 25, 2012

the media, the message

I've been weeding out old, uncirculated audiobooks this summer and I just realized something. Not one of you library-obsessed, book sentimentalists would bat an eye if I burned a pile of books on tape.
Ought to call yourselves papyrophiles.

Friday, June 15, 2012

passing

As I sweltered next to the pool in my jeans and t-shirt, I realized I should've listened to my mother and brought my swimsuit. It was a hot, cloudless, perfect summer day in Pennsylvania, I had just trekked uphill through the woods and the pool looked like an aquamarine oasis.

I had been sitting next to a man I hadn't seen since he was a boy, discussing how important this place had been  to both of us - for many of the same reasons - when Derek finally decided to speak up. He had been eying me all afternoon and I guess his curiosity had won out.

 "So." Derek said. "Are you like a newspaper reporter or something?"

 I knew exactly what led to this question. "Nope. I'm not a reporter."

 "Then why are you here?"

"I used to be a camper."

 "Why?"

I grinned at him.  "Because I'm an amputee."

Derek, a bilateral amputee himself, had wheeled his chair closer during our conversation. He seemed about 16 and was now wearing his most skeptical face.  "Where?"

All secret societies require an initiation, I suppose, and despite the fact that I'd been a member for longer than he'd been alive I still reached down, pulled off my leg, and offered it to him. Derek laughed, delighted.

"Do you just go around pulling your leg off, surprising people?" he asked.

"Nah...just for special occasions."

Like this one.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

freedom of choice?


All this and more, on tonight's SQRPT.
(Yes, tonight. Our new night - Thursday. 9PM. Same time, same squirrel channel.)

flinch

This would cause me untold amounts of anxiety.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

librarian shooters

Two more lined up, end of June.

(no, not these. But, hey, what would the ingredients be anyway?)

Monday, June 11, 2012

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

a cautionary tale

Submitting to the exact type of treatment I carry a gun to prevent doesn't make you tough.

It makes you broken.

Monday, June 4, 2012

lazy OC

I turn 38 tomorrow.


 I'm getting too old to care what other people think.

(but, oh...how do they feel?)

Movie review

City of Lost Children, 1995 - First things first - this film is in French. You're reading this, so that means you can also read subtitles. (Don't grumble)

The film starts with evil Santa Clauses and screaming, similar to quite a few incidents from my own childhood before my mother gave up on trying to get me to pose for holiday photo ops . You're then transported into a gritty dream of surreal characters and steampunk gadgetry. Lots of brass and widgets. (remember, this was in 1995! pre-steampunk steampunk?)

Ron Perlman (who, for the longest time, I believed to somehow be the same person as Tom Waits) looks astonishing - tender eyes under that massive brow and this pale perfectly muscled body. His ugly beauty is a real feat considering how visually amazing everything else is in this film. And just wait until you see the face on Krank, under his dreamcatcher helmet.

There's a bit of a Léon-esque love story, costumes by Gaultier, Ron Perlman speaking French perfectly even though he doesn't speak it at all, a talking brain in an aquarium, a marvelous cooking scene with conjoined twins, plus! It was directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who also directed Amélie, one of my favorite films of all time. And there's a happy ending. And an explosion.

So of course I like it.

Verdict: 4 out 5 stars.

p.s. Since this movie involves children and creepy nightmares, Mike was afraid this would be like that horrible Pan's Labyrinth. But it isn't. Promise.

p.p.s. Mike only gives this a 2.5. He says that, while it was a great movie to look at, the story kind of went off the rails halfway through.

Friday, June 1, 2012

ninnies

Ladies, ladies...I've read the comments and I'm embarrassed for you.

(& yeah, that's me at 12:26PM)

SQRPT, it's a bit of a thing

Tonight*. Face-eating and wookiees.

People are listening. (And commenting.) Why aren't you?


*it's weird to write a post linking to a post I wrote on another blog.